confession of a heartbreaker

I LOVE YOU.. These three words have countless meanings behind it.

"Applying it to puppy love in high school is just craps". Whoever said that has never felt the real meaning of true love. Love is one of the most powerful and real magic that exists in this world. you can't touch it or see it. But when you feel it, it's magic! The way your sight focus on that someone, the way you blink and look away when he/she catches a glimpse of you, the way you try to push away those butterflies in your stomach feelings, and the moment you look into that someone's eye, there's nothing in the world that matters anymore. Love isn't something you can deny, if it was meant to be, it was meant to be. You can shut your mind out at night when you go to sleep but it will appear in your dreams to haunt you. It's something so dear to your heart that you may never forget the memories for the rest of your lifetime... I say this because I walked away from the one thing I used to cared and love most about in this world. I never forgive myself for doing so and I don't expect him to do so either. Thanks for the memories, I'll keep it with me no matter where life takes us. The hardest thing I had ever done was saying goodbye, and now, the only thing I wish for is your happiness. I don't ever want to see you sad. Its time.. to move on.. from I love you...

April!!!!!

Its been a tough month for me this month! ITS APRIL!! I always love april!! ..but this april..so far, its tiring!! Firstly, it the month right before our mid-year exam!! Which means.. I gotta stick my head back into my studies... urgh, its gonna be real tough since my target is to beat all my previous exam results. So, I'll just aim for it then!!

Secondly, plans... Gosh, I have like plans after plans after plans... one down 10 more to go! The first weekend I had my camping trip, which was fun no doubt, but..tiring, after coming back from the trip, I skipped school for like 2 days just so I can sleep, what a PIG!! And now this weekend, I have my hospital annual pediatric party and my dad is not here to fetch me there!! So most probably I'll call a taxi or something, worst comes to worst, I'll just not go! awh..but I was really looking forward to it! Anyway, yeah, and then at night, my other fren invited me to go to her church to see her perform.. haha..cute.. Then the following day I might go hang out with a bunch of my class frens in sunway~ OMIGOSH.... I can't think anymore!!!!

Thirdly, this might not be relevant but.. I need god to calm me down lately, I don't know why, but I'm having problem coping with one of my friend's attitude. She's always so down with low self-esteem and stuff, and every time I try to make her feel better, she'll take it and turn it into some other conclusion and turns her world upside down. And it really pisses me off seeing her like this, its like she just shuts the world out from her world including me. and yeah, it does suck. I miss how she would be happy and not care about stuff, and sometimes, try being happy for me. When my sister left for Australia, I still have her to cheer me on, but now, I find myself calling my other fren to talk about it instead of her and its weird because we used to share everything. Right now, everything only includes 20% of what I wanna say... the rest, is no use sharing, cause she doesn't care.

I even had a dream the other day about us debating between each other, I feel like my feelings have summed up so much in me that the only way to express it is through my dreams, not just this issue, but there's still many others, I guess my body has found a way to express it now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at her, I just don't feel the same anymore.

On the other hand, Let's turn the table around, it's my b'day month and I'm still waiting for my mum to come back to celebrate my b'day with me!!! I had a really great b'day this year, thankx for all the wishes and also thx 5S3 for making my day!!! ^^ I love them!! They are my family forever!

alright, that's all for now.. I wanna go crash on a king-size bed in a full blast air-contioned room with some soul soothing music! ttfn!!!

M.K.Y.L

!Peace OUT!

17th B'day

Nothing much to update on, just one thing.. MY B'DAY is coming up on friday!!!~ T^T... but I won't be in school to celebrate with my friends, I'm going on a camping trip on that very day! oh well~ My mum asked me where I wanna celebrate my B'day this year, and, of course, do I even have to think?? I said "Uno's"!!! I have been celebrating my B'day there every year since I moved to Malaysia~ It has kinda become a tradition in my family I guess! ^^ everytime when there is a b'day celebration, the first thing that'll pop up in my mind would be "UNO"!! okay enough promoting uno now.. But then my mum was like.. "Uno again?? aren't you sick of it??" the truth is.. NO, how can I ever be sick of it?? It is now a part of my childhood memory that's gonna stay with me till the end of time!

And wow, I'm alreadly gonna be 17 in less than 48 hrs now.. I don't want my teenage life to end sooo soon!! If only I have a spell to stop time! I guess this is how it's gonna be~ SO BE IT! I'm gonna face it with pride!

p.s I'm hoping for a really happy b'day this year!! <3

M.K.Y.L

!Peace OUT!

A crazy ambition thought

I just had this random thought of being an air hostess after my SPM!! ... ... ... ...

What The Hell?!?!? Where did that even came from?? But hey, after checking out requirements and all the other informations, being an air hostess isn't that bad after all. Firstly, I love to travel the world to taste different kinda of food (guess I've never mention I've always wanted to be a chef), so what better ways to explore different food while working?? Its a win-win situation! Secondly, Have you even seen their paycheck?? There's like at least 3-4 zeros!! I'm not from a very rich family and we always just have barely enough to get us through a month before my parents get their next paychecks. So, I guess I get to earn some pennies after SPM for a few years until I get sick of the job, and when I'm done, hopefully I'll have enough qualifications to get into one of the "Le Cordon Bleu" school of hospitality & management branch anywhere in the world! Thirdly, my aunt was an air hostess back in the 80's, and from what I heard, they even give you allowance every week/month! Honestly, is this the best paying job ever or what?? On top of that, all the hotels they stay after landing in an unknown country is always at least 3-4 stars, and that is already paid by either the company or sponsorship! That's already so much more than I've expected!

Let me sum this up for you, I'll get to work as an air hostess and travel around the world with the dividend of not having to pay a single cent except to just smile while you're doing your job and greet customer with the warmest welcome and then just do whatever a normal waitress does. Then every month I'll get paid with the most satisfying paycheck ever seen and on top of that I get allowances every fortnight or so (it depends on the job) to spend in the place you're in. And the best benefit for me is that I get to travel around the world tasting and getting to know all different kinds of food cultures. That ought to give me the dream of opening my own shop one day!

I do hope things will go as I plan though, but we would never know what might happen tomorrow. So, as I always say, let's make the best out of today!! Oh, and before I forget, did I mention air hostess uniforms are pretty cute too!~

Thank you for flying on board with me today, please visit me again sometime soon. Goodbye and have a nice day. (how's that for a first timer??) hehe

M.K.Y.L

!Peace OUT!

The past still haunts

Hey yall~ so, I had this really weird dream today. But it was a nice one... I dreamed bout' my ex and I having our good old times like we used to have.. and trust me, it hit me with this feeling that I can't explain, its not that I still like him or anything, its more like I miss him, but not in a "lovey dovey" way, just..miss each other's company~ Well, I guess the past still comes back to haunt us once in a while. Hmp.. but there's still that thought that lingers in my mind whether he's ever thought about me in the same way~ but I guess not, because it was I that made the decision for us to move on, and now here I am thinking craps. gosh.. I'm a bitch!

After all the thinking I did with my brain, I realize how much time have passed since then, after this year, we're all gonna go our separate ways and well.. some of us would never see each other ever again and only some of us might still keep in touch! But the time is still gonna come and the only thing we can do is face it, tomorrow will never come, so let's just make the best out of today! =)

p.s I wanna go on a vacation so badly!! Luqman, take me with you!!!! I swear I can fit into your luggage! hahaha

M.K.Y.L

!Peace OUT!

Freaking Awesome Results

Yay, this is the only personal place where I can brag all I want and not get judge by people saying I'm arrogant or watever! Here's the good new, I DID SO DAMN WELL IN MY EXAM!! Finally, I get to say it out loud! You see, under some circumstances, I'm not exactly allowed to express my feelings to anyone anywhere! So, dear blog, you're my new best friend! haha~

I was actually pretty surprise with all my results, the one that I'm most proud of is my additional maths! I got 82%/100%!!! WTF??!?!? Like wow! seriously?!?!?! THANK GOD!~ To tell you the truth, I've never pass my additional maths in my whole form 4 life, but I got A2 for form 5 in my first exam, that ought to give me the kick for motivation! I'm so relief my hardwork actually does pays off~ I'm gonna work extra harder now for the next exam!

My english is next, I got 98%/100%, (omg, I feel like bitch now, but I just have to express my happiness somewhere) I just feel so good now, its like, the dark cloud has finally subside and the rainbow is shining down on my parade! lovin the feeling of that one! See, gettin the high marks isn't what I'm over-excited about, its the part where people looks at you and goes "hey, that's the girl that got highest in eng"! I've nvr gotten that kinda compliment b4, and it really feels good!

And overall for my other results are satisfying! But its sad that this is just the first exam of the year, so technically, it doesn't count. If only it was the mid-term exam, I would have flew up into the sky!~ haha! yeah, so that's pretty much what I wanted to share, it really feels good to get looked up to by someone else~ hmp.. watch me again next time! I'm gonna score with flying colours~!!!!

M.K.Y.L

!Peace Out!

Tick-tock on the clock

Finally, 1 week of very hardworking me is finally over along with exam.. and now, the moment we've been anticipating for, 1 week of holz!!!!! finally!! Its about time for a break now! I'm gonna watch animes for the whole week b4 school starts and I've gotta brush up on my studies! I'm really giving myself a higher aim this time! Its not like last year, after every paper, I'll be like, "sigh, yet another low mark for it"! But this time around, its more like "phew, that wasn't too hard, at least I won't fail"!! so yay, I wanna thx god for guiding me through this harsh time, thanks for the wisdom and guidance you gave me throughout the week!!!

After this 1 week holz, I really have to treat everyday like an exam day, I'm gonna stay back in the library every now and then to study! JUST WATCH ME! I'm gonna do well this time around, no more lazy me!! ^^

just some crazy pictures of my frens~ XD

hmp..I hope I can hang out with my friends during the holz though, but I'm broke.. ugh, oh well, I'll just go beg by the street! ^^

M.K.Y.L

!Peace Out!